So. A blog. A place to rant. A place where you can get it all off your chest. Let me quote Jimmy Fallon in SNL days gone by: "I have an opinion!".
I want to propose to you to revise the well-meaning statement that "she's a good mom" and "he's a good dad". Here's why: I feel that the way that we measure dads is unparallel to the way we measure moms in our society. It feels like if a dad takes just a little bit of initiative and shows just a touch of enthusiasm he is branded with an enthusiastic title of "GOOD DAD!". Whereas it seems, more and more, that a mom has to be accomplished in the consistency department, the parks and rec department, the meal planning department, the multi-tasking with a smile on my face department, the remember to plan an epic birthday celebration department, the don't forget to put on cute clothes for class pictures department, the screen preschools department, the have a gift closet department, the invite people to dinner department, the organize the closet department, the shop the end of the season for next year's needs department, the decide what sport is coming up next department, the send birthday and Christmas cards department, the stock the art supplies department, the wipe behind the toaster department, the remember to buy Comet, dryer sheets, A&D, plastic Easter eggs department and on and on. And on.
It feels a lot like it's a surprise to be rewarded when a dad steps up to meet the broad range of his children's needs. And a crime when a mom drops one of the 999 balls she has in the air at any given moment.
Let's consider a blanket celebration of good parents. The ones that work together to get things done. And the ones that know that, as my dear friend says, they don't get a cookie for taking care of their OWN KID.
I'm glad my husband is a good dad. And that I'm a good mom. And that together we are equally good parents who deserve equally enthusiastic praise and that our efforts should not be attatched to gender expectations or guaged according to what "most" men or "most" women do. Because the men may always win and the women may consistently fall short.
Just a thought (or two).
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3 years ago
2 comments:
I agree completely! It used to irritate the heck out of me when a man referred to taking care of his own kids as babysitting! I do think it's wonderful when parents co-parent and the whole parenting experience is shared equally - I'm fortunate that both of my daughters are in situations where that is happening. And, of course, another benefit of co-parenting is the close relationship that the child has with BOTH parents - I did not have the opportunity to really have that kind of relationship with my Dad until I moved back home to live with him a few years ago - a biproduct of growing up in the mid-1900s (YIKES - that makes me sound really old!).
Parenting is indeed changing but unfortunately there are still those among us who have no clue and are passing up an incredible opportunity!
P.S. Emily, I have LOTS of plastic Easter eggs!!!!
Di, that's so funny that you addressed the Easter egg thing-- Mike went out last night and picked up a few dozen after reading this. Thanks for your great feedback and elaboration. I love you!
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